Stock trading computers help traders make more money.

I'm your computer, and you're a trader. You know most trading is and has been done electronically since the computer age began in the 70s, you've got everything riding on your productivity this year, stakes are at an all time high recently, because the competition uses stock trading computer systems that don't constantly crash while handling multiple applications simultaneously across multiple monitor arrays, and all the while you've been losing precious minutes on the market, because I crap out on you in the heat of just about any amount of burning hours on the job. I'm crippled, lazy, no good, require constant handouts for repairs and upgrades, and I would make a better paper weight.
The fact that you keep me here makes no sense, and if you had any, sense, that is, you'd ditch me for one of those stock trading computer systems that is totally appropriate for a man with a career of your design. I believe you do have the sense but still haven't budged for whatever reason, so I'm here to tell you? Thanks! You're frugality keeps me here, and it has led to more waste than you'd ever be able to recoup if you went on using me, but I somehow don't think that matters to you. For I'm you're trusty rust buddy, and I know you'll do anything to save a quick buck like at discount department stores like the one where you found me? five years ago? with that gift certificate? Mom's? gift certificate. I'll be here losing you money until it's fine time to dedicate the dough to your career, get serious, and buy one of those stock trading computer systems that can handle the job at hand. Wow! Thanks again.
I'm here for you though. It's just you and me? and my monitor? the only one you'll ever have so long as I'm here! I'm rooting for you though, somewhere deep down underneath the careless behavior that has cost you in the past. Why every time I lag, freeze, overheat, or just plain make a mess of your day trading, I tell myself, "Theres a better way, and I know he'll someday choose to go that path." And as I sit watching you play with minimizing and maximizing your page loads, navigating through them like a crippled crab without a crutch, I think of better days that await you, days when you'll get real and rescue at least 9% of your time and money, make a fortune off a momentous trade decision like those that I have caused you to miss time and time again (not that you ever knew), and later sip martinis off the coast of some private beach with the girls you used to offer two-for-ones downtown? you know? the ones in plastic cups.

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